One Family, Two Turkeys, and a New Flower
by allred12
Summary: A comical take on Rose's birth, which happens to occur on a rather ridiculous Weasley celebration of an American holiday.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

One Family, Two Turkeys, and a New Flower

"George, will you please cut the onions for the stuffing. Victoire dear, try not to climb under Grandmummy's legs while she is magicking shark knives. Harry and Ron, if you are going to sit in this kitchen and talk, you better pick up a utensil and be helpful or just get out of my kitchen" Molly Weasley roared. She was somewhere in between panic mode and mother mode, leaning slightly more towards the panicky end of the spectrum.

"Mum, why do we celebrate Thanksgiving anyways, we are British for merlin's sake" Bill said as he accidentally dropped a very heavy cutting board on his foot in an attempt to gather his daughter from the floor.

"Because it is another opportunity for Mum to cook a copious amount of food which we are all practically forced to eat under the threat of death", Charlie said while munching on a piece of celery, happily watching nearly all his siblings and in-laws vain attempts to control their children.

Everyone was content if not completely happy. That was everyone except Hermione. At eight and a half months pregnant, in an extremely hot a sweaty house, celebrating a holiday that she knew almost nothing about, and watching her husband, his best friend, and all her brother in laws consume ample amounts of alcohol; Hermione was pissed off. The only other pregnant member of the family, Ginny, had delivered last month a beautiful boy, and Hermione was the only one left with swollen feet and heart burn that made her want to vomit.

Watching the hustle and bustle of the family did nothing to calm her down either, it only made her lower abdomen and back ache more. If it was humanly possible to be in any more discomfort, then Hermione just wished she could die.

As she watched Mrs. Weasley violently stuff one out of the two turkeys, Hermione decided that that was how she felt at the moment, like a dead bird stuffed entirely too full. With that nauseating thought, Hermione decided to try and find an open couch in the house so that she could at least attempt to alleviate some of the swelling in her feet. She eased herself up and began to waddle out of the room.

"Oi, Hermione, where are you going?" Ron asked with his mouth full of crackers and cheese.

"Fuck off Ronald", Hermione said, a bit harsher than she meant too. She really wasn't in the mood for his happy drunkenness at the moment. As she exited the room, she heard roaring laughter from George, Charlie, and Harry. Hermione could picture Ron's overused dumbfounded expression going across his face, an expression which she had become increasingly familiar with over the past eight months.

Ron was awful with anything even remotely medically related. He hated the sight of blood, he hated reading about sores, he hated hearing about fluids, he hated being inside hospitals, and he hated being denied sex.

Hermione found her way into the living room where Ginny was nursing baby Albus and various other mothers of toddlers were attempting to keep their children in some semblance of a circle.

Angelina was furiously battling baby Fred for a wand which the rambunctious one year old must have managed to get a hold of somehow. Victoire (who had moved from the kitchen) was bossily patrolling the younger cousins with her hands on her hips and her second mate Molly at her side. Three babies had been born so far this year, and Hermione and Ron's first child would make it four, a personal best for the family. The Weasley sperm had proved to be just as fruitful as it had in past generations.

Except in Hermione's case. It wasn't that it had been difficult to conceive, there was just never the perfect time when her career could afford to take a hiatus. This pregnancy had been unexpected: one night and too many firewhiskeys and a month later Hermione was puking her guts out every morning.

It also wasn't that Hermione didn't want kids. Although sometimes, when she saw the daily craziness that was the Weasley household, she did second guess herself. What in the hell had she signed up for when she married into such a large family.

In addition, Hermione was so accustomed to be first for everything. It was a weird feeling to be the last of the married Weasleys to be having their first child. Hermione was just starting when several of the others had already announced that the year 2005 was going to be there last for having any more kids.

"Hey, Hermione, are you OK?" Ginny asked as she laid the content Albus next too baby Louis.

"Oh yeah, I just cursed out my husband and I feel like a bushy-haired pumpkin", Hermione let out and then promptly broke into tears.

"Oh, sweetheart", Ginny said and quickly stepped over the children to sit next to Hermione on the couch. "It's ok. It's just the hormones talking."

"Oh yeah Hermione, I would bet you my month's salary that you are going to have that baby within the next week, and then you will feel better. Exhausted, but most definitely better", Angelina said having finally wrestled her wand away from Fred.

"Oh, yes, and zen you will feel so very much better. And you will 'ave a beaziful little girl or boy. And ze first one is always ze best because you don't 'ave to worry about the ozer ones distracting you," Fleur said as she tried to wipe some dirt off of Dominique's face who was protesting being taken away from her cousins by screaming as loud as she could.

"Oh good, I'm so ready for everything to calm down a little once he or she arrives. And I am really tired of being mad at Ron all the time for no reason", Hermione said, wiping away her hormonal tears.

"That will never stop" Audrey said dryly, and then began to laugh as the other women knowingly shook their heads.

"And Ron's going to be especially bad. No matter what you say, he will take the kid and sit them in front of a Chudley Cannon's poster until they go prematurely grey", Ginny said while laughing.

"Ugh, I know", Hermione mumbled. Then she put her feet up on the couch and promptly informed the girls that she was going to attempt to take a nap, even above all the ruckus in the kitchen.

In that same kitchen, George was still laughing at his sister in laws inept ability to tell her husband off any chance she got. "You know, Hermione just may be too much for you to handle Ron. She can outsmart you no matter what. And she isn't afraid to speak her mind, that one isn't. I would say that you are thoroughly whipped, or at least destined to a life of silent compliance."

"Ron's been whipped since first year, George", Harry so causally added in. Some best friend he was, though Ron.

The kitchen was unbearably hot, and being publicly humiliated only served to make it even more uncomfortable. Ron knew that he could attribute Hermione's ever more frequent outbursts to her growing pregnancy, but he still wished they could stop.

Ron wanted his child to be here. He was the only one of his siblings (besides Charlie, although Ron still couldn't be 100% sure) to not have a child yet. And although he didn't want to admit it aloud upon threat of death, he counted Hermione as being personally responsible for the kid not being here yet. Victoire had come nearly a month early, surprising everyone at the commemorative ceremonies.

Ron swam through memories as he absently chewed through a piece of turkey that had appeared on the table. "Oi, ow, bloody hell", Ron said as a piece of bone chipped his back tooth. Ron loved his mother's celebration of this completely American holiday, but sometimes it proved to be painful.

"Hey, are you ok?" Harry asked, quickly switching back into best mate stage.

"Yeah, it's just this damn turkey gave my cheek a splinter."

"Um, that's because you chewing on a piece of wood", Harry said as he examined that offending 'turkey'.

At that, George began to laugh at a deadly decibel level. Ron promptly let his head collapse onto the table. "My life blows."

"Oh no it doesn't", Harry said. "You are about to have a baby mate. Come on, cheer up. What are you going to name it?" Harry asked, swiftly changing the mood, despite George's room filling laughter.

"I don't know. I told Hermione she can pick the name, whatever name she wants. I don't have a very good track record. I named my first owl Pig, so I really don't trust myself to name a real kid."

"I guess that's true. But you still have to be excited, you're going to be a dad, finally", Harry said, in a painfully preppy mood he had adopted ever since James's birth.

"Of course I'm happy and excited and nervous and a million other feelings, but, ugh, I need Hermione to just be done with this pregnancy. It's unbearable. I'm never right; last night she told me my breathing was making it so she couldn't sleep. My breathing, what am I supposed to do, hold by breath until the baby comes?"

"If you can last that long", Bill said as he joined the conversation. "Just do whatever she asks, no matter how crazy. It makes your life much simpler."

"Yeah, life goes much easier if you just allow yourself to be whipped. It makes it so that you can do what you want more, even if you are first doing things for her", George said.

"Are you admitting to being whipped, George? I thought I would never see the day", Bill teased.

"Oh, like you are one to talk", mumbled George as he punched Bill lightly in the shoulder. "If I recall correctly, you followed Fleur around like a castrated puppy for years, in fact you still do."

"Supper is ready", Molly Weasley said in a sing son voice.

Ron was excited, he couldn't help himself. He loved that his family celebrated this holiday, any holiday with food or booze was a holiday for Ron. When he and his brothers had paid for a trip for his parents to go to America, he didn't know that it would benefit him so greatly. While traveling to the south, Mrs. Weasley had learned to make fried chicken, and chicken and dumplings, and country fried steak, and pretty much any other fried food a person could dream of. Ron was in heaven.

"'Ermione, 'ermione, wake up m'dear. Dinner is ready", Fleur said as she gently shook Hermione awake.

"Ugh, I'm awake. What is for dinner?" Hermione grumbled as she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

"Oh you know, the usual. The seven course meal of all the greasiest food you could ever want, and some healthy things thrown in for those of us who are eating for two, or eating for a Quiddich match", Angelina said as she laughed and grabbed baby Roxanne up off the play mat on the floor.

"I don't want to eat healthy food. I have been eating healthy for seven months, I am done. I want a huge fried chicken breast and a giant plate of. . . oh." Hermione stuttered as a sharp pain ran through her side.

"Hermione! Are you ok? Sit down, just take it easy. I will go grab Ron or mum or someone. . ." Ginny said as she jumped up from her seat. It was only a month after the birth of Albus, but Ginny had quickly regained her previous, post-baby athleticism.

"No, no. Don't worry I'm fine, just a really hard kidney kick, don't worry about it," Hermione said, shoving her helping sister in laws' helping hands away.

"Ok", Ginny muttered, looking warily at Hermione, "But sit next to me", she whispered feeling more like a teenage girl gossiping with her best friend.

Hermione plopped herself at the table, next to the spot where Ginny normally sat. Ron was sitting across from her. The other women gathered up babies and summoned high chairs and bibs and various other odds and ends to keep the children quiet as those capable of eating indulged in the feast. Little Victoire gathered two huge cooking books from her Grandmummy's cupboard and placed them on the chair closest to one of the two huge turkeys at the end of the table. She promptly grabbed a fork and knife as her father tied a napkin around her neck.

"I'm ready to eat", she said with a huge smile as a plate of baked beans flew towards her and landed gracefully in front of her plate.

"Oh my god, my daughter just did magic! Did anyone see that? You must of seen that", Bill said excitedly.

George began laughing hystericallyy as Ron snorted into his plate of food. "I thought you said you weren't whipped, Bill. . ."

"Whipped, what is whipped?" asked Fleur with a quizzical look.

"It doesn't matter dear. Our daughter did magic. She did real magic, she's a witch!"

"And you doubted zat?"

"No, but you know, it's great to see it for person, see it in action", Bill said, already knowing he had lost this argument.

"Well, I 'ave known zat she is going to be a great witch since ze day she was born. All ze women in my family are wonderful witches, and any daughter of mine would be no different and you are. . ."

"Oh shit", Hermione said as she clutched her back quickly.

"My shoes, oh. . . Hermione!" Ginny said.

"My water broke. I think my water broke", Hermione shouted.

"Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell!" Ron screamed back at her.

"There sure is a lot of screaming in their marriage isn't there? I always knew they were both screamers", George laughed while poking a pale Charlie.

"George, this is no time for joking", Mrs. Weasley said with a weird look of excitement and worry on her face.

"Yeah if I remember correctly, you ended up at the hospital without trousers when Fred was born", Angelina said with a stern look on her face.

Ginny was quietly whispering words of encouragement to Hermione as Ron was pacing back and forth in front of the fire place muttering something unintelligent about turkeys.

"Come on Ron, pull it together", Harry said as he tried to control Ron's pacing by grabbing his arm.

Ron just stared back at Harry blankly. Hermione managed to rise to her feet and was being guided by Angelina and Ginny to the fireplace.

"Ron, are you going to grow a pair and flo your wife to St. Mungo's?" Ginny asked impatiently.

"Yeah, oh yeah, yup ok, here we go Hermione", Ron said as he took her hand and floed to St. Mungo's. Quickly the rest of the adults of the family followed, forgetting the kids. Victoire and Teddy shared the head of the table and a morose Victoire said "I guess we aren't going to get to the pumpkin pie" with a frown on her face, completely ignoring the blatant fact that they had just been left alone.

However, Teddy cheered when he heard a pop at the opposite head of the table. Uncle Charlie was mumbling to himself about always being the one sent back when everyone left the kids. Charlie began to organize the older ones into the fireplace while he grabbed some of the babies.

Several hours later, most of the family stood in a reasonably large hospital room, staring at a baby girl with dark red tufts of hair on her miniscule head.

"Aunt Hermione, you should name her Turkey because she was born on the day that Grandmum always serves Turkey", Victoire said as she tried to curl up on the hospital bed next to her Aunt.

"How about we call her Rose, like a flower", Hermione suggested to Victoire.

Victoire appeared to ponder the idea for a second. "Yeah, that works too" she finally said after a few seconds.

The family laughed, and slowly, they began to return to the burrow, going back to two cold turkeys. Finally; Ron, Hermione, and baby Rose remained in the room. One new family and one new flower, a perfect portrait.


End file.
